I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
