please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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