hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
