So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This is my gift to your gina
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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