That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
