He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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