Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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