I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
