just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
