How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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