Buhtt sex?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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