Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
