I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
