BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
