I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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