you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
