i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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