This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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