I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
