Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
