I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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