It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
