Whod you bang
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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