I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
