so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
