My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
