I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
