The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
