Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
