I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
be right there i have to get my cape
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
When are your genitals available?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
