how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
