Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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