Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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