why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
