Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I intend to get homeless drunk
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
