Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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