so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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