what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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