There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
