Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
