2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
