oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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