I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
