fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
