I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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