Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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