sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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