He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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