Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
