i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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